Look at Me Now: Kim

wicked soberKim is only 22 years old and she has been through a lot. Aside from dealing and combating with a drug addiction for years, she just recently lost her daughter while in sobriety.

This is Kim’s Story:

Kim and I started off by talking about her daughter. She had her daughter 2 and a half years ago. She had put her daughter up for adoption. Because she was using drugs and she had just gotten out of jail, she knew that her daughter would have a better life with another family. “Its probably the only think I can think of that was right while I was using,” “I wanted her to be in a good spot, where she would be taken care of,” she told me.

2 years later Kim has been to hell and back and has managed to finally get sober. When I talked to her she had 90 days clean on that day. And she had held onto that sobriety for dear life. She lost her daughter in the midst of her newfound clean time. A month ago she found out her daughter had had leukemia for awhile. She told me, “they hesitated to tell me because they didn’t want me to worry. Since I was newly sober.” Shortly after Kim found out her daughter had leukemia, her daughter passed away while she was in treatment. 

“This is the first time I have been sober and not been smoking weed or drinking here and there,” she explains. “The treatment center Wicked Sober referred me to was my 9th program and I am only 22 years old, I have been in and out of programs since I was 16 or 17 years old.”

“This is the first time I actually wanted to come down and go to a treatment center. My whole pattern was I would go to a treatment center, I was in California most, and I couldn’t wait to come home. I was just messing around the whole time. I went to one in Dallas. I have been all around the United States and I know the geographical thing doesn’t work. But my problem is I went to all these places and I didn’t stay. I would be like oh I need to go back to Boston and it never worked for me.”

Kim was describing how the geographical change, or move doesn’t get you sober, but it can help, A LOT. 

Currently Kim is still in Florida. She hasn’t gone back to Boston this time and this time she is still sober. 

“I learned a lot about myself through treatment.”

So I asked her, “How did you get down here?” I wanted to know how she got to treatment and what the story was. 

“Well,” she tells me, “The whole thing with my mom was that I could come home after my treatment. After I was in California, I got to go home, as long as I was on the Vivitrol shot, which we all know doesn’t do shit.” “I went home and I was sober for three days and then I had an appointment to get the shot, and right after I got the shot I went and got high.”

Vivitrol or the shot Kim is referring to is meant to block the high of opiates, specifically heroin and also to diminish the cravings for it. For anyone who thinks that something such as Vivitrol will work to keep you sober, Kim’s story proves this isn’t true. I was interested in hearing about what getting high on the Vivitrol shot was like and also how ineffective it was in helping her. 

“What was that like?!” 

“It was a mess,” she says slightly laughing. “I guess the first couple hours after you get it, it’s not in your system yet so I went and got high and I felt it and I was like oh my god.” “And that was my whole plan. It didn’t take me less than 20 minutes to get high right after I got it.”

Vivitrol which is supposed to block cravings and the high from opiates obviously wasn’t working. “So the next day I went and got high again, and I didn’t feel it. So then I figured out, that alright, I am going to tell my mom that I was going to that same doctor every day to get drug tested, and I told my mom that I had to pay for my copay and my drug test and she was giving me money everyday and she would give me the money and I would go get high and I would do three bags in one so I could feel it.”

Which is the danger of Vivitrol. Addicts will use more to get high risking overdose because they can’t feel it. 

After all of this….

“Eventually my mom came home from one of her Learn 2 Cope meetings and I saw the Wicked Sober card on the table.” 

Wicked Sober helps addicts just like Kim find the best treatment centers for their needs. Not only that, they stick with you through every step of your recovery.

“So I called one of my friends who was sober down in Florida and told him what was going on. I told him about the Wicked Sober card.” “He told me to call Mike. Said he knew him. So I did.”

“I called Mike and told him I am thinking about doing a lifestyle change,” she laughs big time. Which was an understatement. She had been using heavily, shooting coke, trying to get high on opiates etc.

Needless to say Mike didn’t fall for any of Kim’s stories. She tried her best to find reasons why she couldn’t come to Florida right this second. And while she may have wanted to get her hair done before she came down, from what she told me, the point is she actually did. And from that point forward, her life began to change.

Kim ended up attending a renowned treatment center recommended by Mike and Wicked Sober, and it worked. She flew down from Boston to Florida. Mike picked her up. “I was a mess,” she says laughing again. She finished her treatment successfully, about a month long process, and eventually moved into a halfway house, where she is now.

And as for today?

Today she describes friends that show up for her, a good relationship with her family and happiness. And her life going to only get better from this point forward, isn’t that the truth. She told me she had never had a support group like the one she has found down here. She lost her daughter and she didn’t get high. When she heard about her daughter, she was not alone, people showed up in her life. 

“I was so quick to run to get high, why wouldn’t I be so quick to run and get better and change my life and not be sick every day?”

I asked her if she could say one thing to anyone hesitating to get help what would it be?  

“I would tell them, honestly there is nothing to lose, if you are out there getting high, what is going to be different, if you are going to want to change your life, you might as well as act on it. Coming down here was the best thing I have ever done. I dont have the support up there that I do down here. I am accountable for people. Like when my daughter died, word spread fast down here, and I had 25 girls at my house waiting for me. It is crazy the support I have. I was saying to one of my friends, I have like one true friend at home, but I didn’t know what a true friend was, the spoon and the needle were my friend. 

This is the best decision I have made. Out of all the decisions, other than my daughter, this is the second best decision. I never thought I could be happy….I never thought I could be happy doing the little things in life. I have no reason to go get high. . . . .”